Profit Director Destro

 

Because dropping the "pimp" from his title while retaining the leopard print will surely make us forget.

 Behold, I have done the unthinkable and now own a 1/12 scale G.I. Joe figure. I swore to myself I never would and yet here we are, with me going over a variant of everyone's favourite arms dealer who realistically exists in more of a morally gray area than being a straight-up villain. I'm not gonna lie, the fact that this is an homage to the 25th Anniversay Pimp Daddy Destro figure is largely the only reason I own this. I mean, just look at it.

I T ' S   S U C H   A N   A E S T H E T I C .

I am nothing if not a slave to the neon 80s/90s aesthetic and this thing is drenched in it. It's genuinely pleasant to look at, despite my terrible photography skills and even worse camera. His decked out gold mask, the leopard print cape draped over his wine-coloured skintight bodysuit with leopard print accents, and those fucking shades. I feel like this toy was made for me. And yes, I know he looks a bit more purple in that picture, but that's because I tweaked it to make it look slightly less shitty.

See? Much less purple. Sorry, Grimace fans.

As a figure, he's quite solidly constructed. Not as many joints as say a MAFEX or Figma, but he's got enough for some proper posing. The problem is that his hard cape make it hard to do too much with it on. It's a right bitch and generally cuts off any shoulder articulation from being accessible. That's a shame too because he has butterfly joints at the shoulders, meaning he can move those arms in a lot of positions without the cape on.

He can even do that stupid titled "gangsta" pose with his gun for full ridiculous effect.

The leopard print on him is done nicely, but I can't help but wish he had a bit more of it/ Like, maybe some on the shoulders under the cape where textured area is? That'd look quite nice, I think. He also has these gold accents on his boots, wrist bands, which goes nicely with the golden mask, gun, and chain. But again, I can't but wish for more, for example some gold on the knee armour and belt.

Even the boots feel like they use a bit more of something. Bling this motherfucker out, Hasbro!

He has a very nicely sculpted body and the leg holster has some nice details as well, but once more it is hurt because of a lack of paint. Hell, it's even worse on the holster as it has literally no paint on it, just being cast in a bright red flexible plastic. Overall, he just feels like he needs more paint. While I can certainly fix that issue myself (and most definitely will) I'm talking about the figure as is out of the box. But where he lacks a lot of potential paint accents, he has a number of great accessories.

Dude literally has money to burn.

Not to beat an already beaten-to-death horse, but once again these could be improved with more paint. The money in the case could have a print of some kind of it or even a sticker on the screen inside the case. But no, just solid colours. At lest the burning cash has a sculpted pattern in it that can be brought out better with a paint wash. I wouldn't complain about this except for the fact that this is a more expensive figure that the basic Destro, so it should have a bit more effort to make it pop for the money you pay for it.

Still, he looks really cool holding that burning cash bundle.

The only other gripes I have are some spotty paint apps on his butt/thigh area and his hands, which are a bit too hard. Getting his burning wad of cash in his left hand was a chore and getting his golden gun in his right hand wasn't much better. I appreciate them not being too rubbery but they feel almost too far in the other direction here and I fear I am going to break something prying them open.

He's got a nice ass though.

As someone who wasn't really interested in collecting 1/12 scale G.I. Joes at all, this figure hasn't really changed my mind. While I don't dislike the figure, which is unmistakably a beautifully constructed representation of the laird of arms, I still would much rather see it in 1/18 scale, as that will always be my preferred scale (especially in regards to G.I. Joe in particular).

"Who am I? I'm you, but better because I'm in the proper scale. I like the leopard print though."

So, if you're into the 1/12 scale and think this looks up your alley, it's not a bad purchase currently at $29.99. I don't recommend at secondary market prices though, as those are likely to get really stupid very quickly. So yeah, guess that's all I've got. Later.

"Peace out, bitches."