Monday, October 3, 2016

Halloween-ish Goodies!

Welcome back, my bodacious bleeders! Apologies for the pause to Horrorfest festivities. Things have been a bit hectic in this life I'm saddled with. And because I live in Florida, I get to worry about the potential of a large funnel of winds ripping everything near my ass rather wide open. It's a super fun thought. But I try not to sweat it, as always. After all, this isn't my first encounter with a hurricane and the show invariably must go on. In the meantime, I did take some time to go shopping for necessities. Batteries and bottled water? Pfffttt, I mean real necessities!

My body is actually less water and more Ecto-Cooler.

Now, this will include some food items and some non-food items, which made classifying it difficult. I decided to tag it as a "Play with Me!" though, since the "Eat Me" stuff is mostly videos now. That may change in the future, but for now, let's get on with the groovaciously ghoulish goodies I got. First up on the docket is something that has become a staple of my Halloween festivities and I imagine I am not the only one. Simple orange sugar sprinkles Jack-o-lantern sugar cookies.

There is a possibility that I may have already eaten some of them. A very strong possibility.
Ever since I was a kid, these things have existed and have always been a go-to selection to celebrate my favourite time of the year. They're so simple too that they're difficult to screw up. Generally any store that makes and sells them will taste roughly the same as the others. That's great, because it always sucks when good things get buggered up by faulty recipe tampering. I'm looking at you Post from the period a little while ago when you changed Honeycomb into a terrible abomination against taste-buds.

I'm fairly certain the recipe was changed back because this thing threatened to murder their families.
And since I brought up cereal, let's talk about our next selection. This time of year we get to be reminded that the cereal industry was gutted and that most cereals now taste almost nothing like what we grew up on. Because truly it's the sugary cereals that are causing health problems in kids and not widespread inactivity due to them becoming apathetic as the world slowly burns down around them, leading to them being lazy as fuck. But once a year we get revisited by the ghosts of cereals past when General Mills releases the monsters from the vault to eager mouths.

Assuming you can actually find them, which can be a bit tricky.
But, a much as I love those iconic cereal creations, we're not talking about them. No, we're talking about something that I'm sure isn't new but I somehow missed up until now. Count Chocula Treats are essentially not any different than the cereal bars you often find but they do have an important distinction: they actually taste good. That shouldn't be much of a shock, being that they are essentially pieces of chocolate flavoured cereal being held together with an unholy combination of chocolate and marshmallows.

The scariest thing s about these is that they're only sold once a year. Dammit.
These bars truly remind me of the Chex Mix Chocolate bars they used to sell that I ate religiously. But sadly that is the great crime of finding foods I love...knowing my love for them is a near guarantee of their eventual death. It's quite vexing, to say the least. Now, onto an actual non-food item, we have something I ran across that I suspect isn't actually related to Halloween but I am going to pretend it is anyway.

It's very easy to associate anything containing the word "gross" with Halloween. Like my face, for example.
What I have here is a Crusty Chocolate Bar from the Grossery Gang toyline, apparently. I have no real knowledge of these toys but now feel compelled to look further into them. But then again, I may just be slightly wrong, as upon opening the package I see a paper foldout that proudly proclaims that these are from the world of The Trash Pack. Now those I know, having bought a few. Basically, supposedly gross little mini-figures that are generally quite endearing. Inside here is a chocolate car shaped container containing two Grossery Gang figures who I am eager to introduce to my Trash Pack guys.

Despite the ants and fly on the plastic chocolate bar container, I still kind of want to eat it.
Seen here are Rot Hot Chili and Fungus Fries, two characters I am fairly certain wouldn't have managed well in the Food Fighters toyline. While I will admit that I would've greatly preferred a Puking Pumpkin in that small plastic container, I am pretty happy with these little guys. I have a lot of love for mini-figures and much like their Trash Pack cousins, these are cute little guys who are just gross enough to stick amongst various monsters and bugs. Were I a more wealthy man, I would procure large amounts of these to drop in bags on Halloween night. Welp, let's move on to another food item type thing.

Yo, where my Peeps at?
Peeps are me are still fairly new to one another. It's not that I've been living under a rock and only learned of them this year but rather that I avoided them for some strange reason. Growing up I always thought they'd taste bad, for some reason. But boogers? Those were fine. Kids are weird. Anyway, I finally ate my first Peep this past Easter and it made me regret all the years I missed. Sure, they're not gonna cure cancer or give me eternal life, but I can dig the taste much more than eating a regular marshmallow. And it you present them to me in the form of a tombstone of Frankenstein monster head? That's even better.

Now I'll finally know what crippling loneliness and rampant existentialism taste like...oh wait.
As far as taste goes, well...they're Peeps. They taste like most other Peeps, so it's not an unpleasant taste if you do, in fact, like the taste of Peeps. I have now said Peeps far too many times. Peeps. If you dig those, try them out. Get spoopy with it. Maybe baked a Halloween cake and use the tombstone Peeps to create a graveyard on said cake. Now there's an idea, eh? What's next? Oh my...are those...that exists? Oh, this is exciting!

Now I can taste the rainbow while worshiping Satan! Squee!
Skittles are not a candy I eat very often. As a child we would eat them often, routinely tossing handfuls in our mouths and mushing them into fake gums to cover out teeth. Again, kids are weird. But since then we've achieved a strange Skittles nirvana where there are numerous varieties of them to fit various tastes. You can go classic, down some sour ones, have some berry flavours, or even take a trip to the darkside. That last one may be best enjoyed while listening to Pink Floyd. But now they've given us Halloween Skittles and all feels truly good and perfect. These were made for me.

Reveal to me your candy-based secrets...
Tasting each individual one, let's see what flavours we have to work with. First up, Gripping Grape, which is definitely not my favourite flavour at all. Never been much of a grape person and this tastes alarmingly of Dimetapp cough syrup, which is not high on my list of tastes I want candy to mimic. Next up we have Lurking Lemon, which I like a lot more more. It tastes almost exactly like a lemon Starburst candy, only shrunk and hidden inside a hard shell. Nice. Bogey Berry is next on the chopping block. I'm not entirely sure what berry it's supposed to be but I like it. I like to imagine it's a berry stolen from the Boogeyman's garden, because fuck that guy.

Dude's an asshole.
Our remaining two flavours are Twisted Tangerine and Petrified Pear, which are flavours I do not recall having in Skittles form previously. The tangerine is like a much sweeter orange, but it has a bit of sour bite to it. Not unpleasant in the least. The pear on the other hand is a more subdued taste, almost bitter while also being sweet. It definitely tastes the most like the actual fruit it's emulating, which kind of shocked me more than anything. The only thing left to do is eat them all at once...for science. As expected, it results in the usual reaction from me. My face felt hotter and the flavours all merged into a fruity blur. It's a very familiar feeling that always brings me back to my childhood. Now we've at our final selection, which I found recently and instantly felt needed to be bought.

My new ghostly pumpkin friend here.
Yes, my favourite thing I bought this year may very well be this simple little fake marbleized pumpkin. I'm not sure why, but it just speaks to me. But it is missing something, right? It needs a proper face so it can speak to everyone like it does me! Thus I set about my task of bringing this little guy to life for all the world to appreciate. Luckily, carving isn't required thanks to these handy pumpkins stickers I found, which is very good. I don't even want to think about cutting this little guy up. So, after two sticker packs and some wrangling, let's take a look at the little guy's brand new face.

I shall call him...Victor. Because he always wins.
Now, that's gonna be a wrap for this round-up of Halloween goodies I scrounged up. If I manage to get anything else notable, I may make a second article, but for now let's get pumped. Because next time we're going to be diving into the deep end as I finally explore one of the most notourious films ever made. Later days, bleeders!

In the meantime, I will try not to eat any tasty looking plastic chocolate bars.

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