Friday, July 8, 2016

Why I Love Giant Monsters

I know, another one of the editorial things coming out so soon after the previous probably annoys some of you, but I felt like talking about this subject for quite a while and I've put it off long enough. You all know that I love giant monstery things. Hell, I dedicate an entire month to talking about them every single year. But here's what you don't know: why I love them. And it's actually true that no one really knows beyond maybe two people I told because I trusted them quite a bit on an intimate level.

Yes, that kind of intimacy.

The reason for that is pretty complicated. Despite my outward appearance of a giant wall bear of a man, I'm actually rather fragile in many ways. I had some rough experiences during my formative years that I carried with me, things that made it difficult to feel good about myself or feel like I had someone I could trust to protect me. That's not knocking my parents, as they did the best they could, but the world is rough and sometimes you need someone to look up to. Cue my uncle introducing me to the world of giant monsters. My uncle was good at introducing me to things like that, even though he's not the most ambitious guy. He got me into things like foreign cinema with martial arts and yakuza films, helped me branch out and try different comic books, and most notably gave me my gateway into kaiju.

And he did it all while looking like he probably eats people's faces.
This right here was an important moment for me because I saw these films with Godzilla, Mothra, and company defending Earth from threats and I felt safer. I felt like they were there watching over me too. Jet Jaguar had my back, Gamera was always watching out for me, and if I had a bad day the Big G would be waiting to offer me consolation. For a skinny white kid growing up somewhere where too often being that meant having a bullseye on my back, it helped me cope. And yes, I really was a skinny little kid.

But I still looked goooood.
Now, I feel a lot more secure with myself and more comfortable speaking about things of a personal nature. My self-esteem is no longer this tiny insignificant thing that receives constant chipping from others. I'm happy with who I am. That's why I can talk about something that was previously very hard to speak out about. It's important for me too to remember why I love these big bastards, because even though I have gotten stronger...the world hasn't stopped being what it has always been. Choosing the life of a guy who talks about the things I do, which obviously pisses some people off, means I open myself up for lots of hate being lobbed my way.

"Fuck you for liking things and having an opinion contrary to my own!"
After having a rough year of some really personal attacks, this month has been so great to sink into. I feel more at peace and relaxed, letting those stressful memories roll off of me and allowing myself to just smile and feel good. Yes, I will get back to talking more about movies next week and there will be some good ones and some bad ones. But for right now? I'm just happy to be doing this, sharing all of this with you. I also like to imagine that somehow my kaiju buddies are reading these too, because that little kid is still inside of me looking to them for support. Thanks for reading my sappy bollocks, bleeders. See you next week.

Also, feel free to go hug someone. Even if they are a giant bug, they still have feelings.

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