|"Pound that, ya pukes."|
Growing up in the 1980s means remembering a great many toylines and cartoons from the era, which does include the Pound Puppies. They were a grey area toyline, not really marketed for any specific gender as toys often tend to be. They could be easily enjoyed by boys, girls, vampires, swamp monsters, attack helicopters, and even that lump of mysterious growth in the fridge. The idea is pretty simple too, as it's about a world where dogs and cats can communicate with humans. Also, dogs and cats wear clothes. These were not things present with the toys, but hey, cartoons tend to follow their own logic.
|Like there being an ocean...under the ocean...oh yeah, and fire.|
- Cooler: he's the main character & de facto cool guy.
- Nose Marie: known for being flirty, her sniffer & being the den mother. Is into Cooler.
- Howler: he's the inventor & he howls compulsively.
- Bright Eyes: she's a young cheerleader dog & is unsurprisingly very energetic.
- Whopper: the de facto kid, known for telling "whoppers".
- Beamer: he's a gentleman & generally pretty happy.
- Reflex: he has a tic in that every time a bell rings, he compulsively kisses everyone, declaring he loves them.
- Hairball: he's a fat cat who coughs up hairballs.
- Charlamange: Hairball's tomboyish girlfriend.
|And our business just so happens to be rather large.|
|Man, The Sword in the Stone is a lot more graphic than I remember it being.|
|Nothing says "great ruler" like the slaughter of a child and his dog.|
|In a world where they are clearly as intelligent as humans, isn't this sort of like cute cuddly human trafficking?|
|"I don't have time for kids. I've got literal bitches to impregnate, my man."|
|Don't you even think that adorable vacant stare can fool me! I'm onto you!|
|If you can't trust Heihachi Mishima's fat American cousin, who can you trust?|
|That's a face that says "I'm not even getting paid for this..." right there.|
They vacuum Collette off of his ass along with Whopper and take off with the half there, but the skinny idiot left the other half at the museum meaning they don't have both. Then our heroes are alerted to the fact that the two dogs have been kidnapped and now the newborn puppies will probably starve, unless Cooler has knocked any of the other girls up so they can possibly lactate. I wouldn't hold it past him, honestly.
|My money is on Bright Eyes, because Cooler is a bastard.|
They plan to follow the badguys to the woods, but there is a clear fear that Big Paw may brutally kill them all. Also, cat racism occurs when Cooler tells the Pound Purries they can't come because "tracking's a dog's job". Seriously, that's pretty iffy and it actually kind of shocked me as a kid too. The things they used to get away with in kid stories, right? Impregnation, slavery, and racism. It's always an adventure when I check out a movie. They proceed into the woods where they all have a song about vivid surreal hallucinations with some shit that looks like it popped out of a budget version of the Grinch's Halloween special.
|If you see these while playing Pokemon Go, please don't catch them. Kill them. The world is scary enough.|
|Probably needs to wear them because he's got a BIG BIG BIG BIII-IIIG COCK.|
|Guess he'll just have to go knock up every other female dog.|
|Which means Christopher Walken is gonna fuck our shit right up.|
|Unless we've already seen them somewhere else...hmmm...|
|Which actually highlighted a size-consistency problem.|
|Cooler probably fucked Tammy too. Enjoy that thought.|