|Yeah, I read comics. Really good, well-done comics.|
Yep, me and comics are old friends. They actually got me into reading as a kid. Moving on from that earth-moving revelation, let's talk about a comic book character of some renown: Lobo. First appearing in DC Comics' Omega Men series, Lobo is the last surviving member of his race, the Czarnians. He's the last because he sort of let loose a horde of flying scorpions that killed everyone. Oops. He's mostly known for how he's been popularly portrayed later on, which is as a space biker bounty hunter who is as strong (if not stronger) than Superman. But, unlike ol' Big Blue, he doesn't tend to hold himself back and has been known to kill his enemies pretty savagely.
|As such, they've had some disagreements about his methods in the past. I call them "punch-laden arguments".|
|These are real things. I own them.|
|It's always good to break what isn't broken and then shit on the fans' faces at the same time.|
|Which meant avoiding some problems other comic book films of the time suffered.|
|Oh yeah. He was in that movie.|
|Look, it's Hugh Jackman!|
|I'm gonna hazard a guess that it's because Lobo tends to end up on the naughty side of things.|
Thus the main man heads to the North Pole and he begins tearing his way through the elves as he seeks to shut down Santa's whole operation. We see this initially through security cameras that some elves are watching from the control room, which even includes what is probably the only Blair Witch Project parody to ever garner a chuckle from me as we see a lone elf in front of a camera saying he's "so scared" as he breathes roughly. From behind rises Lobo, ending that elf's fears once and for all.
|Looks like someone just got their stocking stuffed.|
Part of what I like about it is that it, much like the violence in the comics, feels firmly comedic in nature. The elf speaking in a goofy fashion as Lobo rises smiling behind him, whispering "boo" before killing him, clearly mocking the film that was famous for never having a visible villain. This scene on its own is a better horror movie parody than the Scary Movie and A Haunted House series have been able to accomplish with multiple sequels. After watching him kill said elf, the other elves in the control room panic.
|They just realized that this whole thing is actually just a lead-in to Viscera Cleanup Detail. Panicking is to be expected.|
|I guess he could pull through. He did manage to make it this far in that condition.|
|Alright....yes, that is a minor twist. Now get out of here!|
|Sometimes his version of caring tends to result in body bags. Because he just cares so much it hurts...other people.|
|"Ain't I a fraggin' stinker?"|
|It doesn't hurt at all that he really looks the part too.|
|And to all a good night.|