Monday, September 14, 2015

Why Does He Keep Missing Days?

Hello, my loyal readers and welcome to my lengthy explanation on why I don't always keep up with my own deadline...especially recently. As you may know, I am essentially a one man operation. I come up with terrible jokes, I grab screens, I inadvertently create memes that I end up reusing because I like them, and I do a shit job of editing. These are all things I do solo. Now, it may surprise to learn that it can be a bit challenging, as I do try not to repeat myself...even though I am fairly certain I have.

This is about all I've got in the way of an apology.

The truth is, yes, it does get to be a lot of work even when I don't do this every day. And when I say that, I mean I don't post something new for you lovely folks every day. The reality is that I actually do do this essentially every day. Now, I'll wait for you all to quit laughing because I said "do do". We good? Alright. You see, even when something new isn't going up, something new is actually being worked on. But I'm human and I have a tendency to be unhappy with my work sometimes. As such, this has meant rewriting things, redoing videos entirely, and even sometimes trashing an entire review because I didn't think it was any good. There are a lot of people out there doing what I do, but they're doing it with a much higher turnover, so I strive to really make every review or article be as entertaining as I can manage. And I do this all without any of you seeing me do it.

Like a big hairy ninja whose pale skin glows in the dark.
Every time I leave you all with nothing, I feel guilty because I know that some of you actually do want to see my mess of text in the hopes it might brighten your day as you sit in your cubicle contemplating whether or not you should build a noose out of the excessive amount of paperclips you have access to. I love entertaining you all too. It's why I take requests and try to focus more attention on what you all want me to cover rather than what I might want to talk about. For example, you've all made me wonder if I'm going to be known as the "porn parody" guy, because my reviews for those are quite popular. And I wouldn't have covered those had it not been for you asking for them, because watching Chyna getting plowed while covered in terrible body paint was definitely not something I ever desired.

Seriously, who desired to see that? Why?
With all the computer issues I've had this year, it's been even more noticeable that I haven't had nearly as much output as I'm known for. That I will apologize for, even though I know it really wasn't in my hands. The reason I decided to take the time to write this was because I think you all deserve an acknowledgement of the fact that I know I'm not giving you as much as I could be. All I can say is that I am working to fix that and that it won't stop October from being jam-packed with new content. I have a number of unboxing videos that are all nearly done being edited that will be going up much later than they should've. I have a long list of movies to talk about, most of which are horror. And I am currently working on broadening the scope of this place to include others. Sure, we've got Cameron, but he's pretty busy in his new home and has other priorities.

And Cody...well...he's Cody.
I still stand my pledge to give you three articles a week, but going forward they may not all be on a M/W/F schedule due to other previously mentioned factors. Does this count as one for this week? Nah, that'd be cheap of me. Let's call this one me filling in the blank spot from last week only having two. But yeah, new stuff is on the way and I hope I won't have to make you wait very long for the majority of it. On a final note, yes, I will be setting up a Patreon. I know some of you have asked if I would, as I have joked about it in the past and one of the rewards will be me buying and making a video of me burning one of the more hated movies I've done this year. Expect that to be set up soon and please, keep sending those requests and questions, because I do all of this for you. Later days, bleeders.

Keep being jawesome to one another.

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