|I know...totally shocking, right?|
And it probably goes without saying that it's also a bit less serious in tone that those other films, but I don't think anyone would ever approach a film with this title expecting a Shakespearean tragedy. But, while you'd expect this to be forgettable schlock based on all the factors mentioned thus far, there is good news. This is produced by Roger Corman. Yes, our good friend who always cranks out movies that may not be cinematic masterpieces, but are always solidly entertaining. How could I say no to a Corman produced send-up of classic 1950s era classics? Sharktopus would never forgive me if I passed on this.
|I generally make it a rule not upset Sharktopus, for obvious reasons.|
|If it makes you feel any better, Brittany, I happen to like short women.|
|I had no idea breasts would be such a large focus in this movie. There weren't any hints or anything.|
|And why do I suddenly feel the urge to sing Ramones songs?|
There she ends up getting a large X drawn across her blemished face, as we're supposed to still believe she's ugly at this point. Afterwards, Cassie takes off back to her room where her friend/roommate is loudly having sex with the male cheerleader while Cassie's mom calls her to check in. And wow, her mom is effing Sean Young. As a fan of Dune, Stripes, and Blade Runner, I have to say I didn't expect to see her pop up here. Following the conversation where Cassie solves none of her issues with her mother, the male cheerleader flees from the room after the roommate brandishes a cucumber that she apparently meant to insert into a very tender orifice on his person.
|It's not that big and she's cute. He should've sucked it up and experimented a bit. She has lube.|
|You can't get mad at me for pointing out something that is actually true.|
|Kind of a dick move when she saved his sorry ass from being an empty Gogurt sleeve.|
|Did I mention this movie really wants you to notice tits?|
|An ass-shot in more ways than one.|
|It's okay, Brittany. At least you got to be taller than everyone else for a little while.|
|Not to mention the most over-the-top Treat Williams character ever. He almost channels Walken at some points.|
|Play me off, boys!|