Saturday, April 25, 2015

Rant: My Personal War with Computers

As I sat here today, writing up a review for yet another strange oddity of a film in the hopes that I might garner a chuckle from you all, I ran into a problem. You see, my computer decided to close with writing program while  I was writing. I was, in fact, nearly done writing when this happened. This just begs the question of "why didn't I just write directly here like I normally do?", to which I have no good answer. I was trying something different and now am feeling the ramifications of that.

I assure you that I am handling it in a mature fashion.

But this isn't the first time I have felt burned by my computer, oh no. And I can wager many of you know similar feelings. How many times have you been kicked out of a program because of too much memory being used, despite there being nothing else open? Or maybe there was a game you really wanted to play but found that you couldn't due to memory bleed? I'm looking at you, Fallout 3. Hell, if I have Tumblr open for longer than 10 minutes, all of my memory gets pushed into the upper limits. Seriously, Tumblr? Do you really need to use over one million k? Don't you think that's a bit excessive?

"No. Keep scrolling. Tumblr is your life now."
It's really quite vexing to be a computer user, especially when you don't have the money to toss away on new parts. Because you are going to need new parts, I promise you that. You want to get a better video editing program so your videos are somewhat better and more entertaining? Well, guess what? That ram you have is shit. Better upgrade, because your computer will explode otherwise. Can't afford it? Well, fuck off, then! Enjoy laying in a puddle of your failure. That video game you really want to play is out now, but your computer's graphics card can't handle it? Better go sell your firstborn for the newest card so you can enjoy it for a month before a better one comes out and that one starts smoking because it's so obsolete.

Good luck running Minecraft now.
In today's age of computers, it's really easy to get left behind. It's even easier to go into a rage fit and reenact a famous scene from Office Space. But we try, we trudge on down the road to hell, hoping things will work or get easier. I'd settle for working, as oftentimes I find that simply desiring my computer to work at all can be too big of a task to expect of it. Truth is that I only really get it on it now to check my email, edit videos, and write these articles, as anything else is usually asking for trouble. Remember how I brought up Fallout 3 earlier? Yeah, I love that game, but I can't really run it. It bleeds memory like a stuck pig and I'm lucky if I can get a half hour play out of it before it freezes or crashes.

"Our centuries old in-game computers crash less than our game!"
Someone even asked if I considered playing the game without running any mods in the game, which I did try. It still crashed a lot. But, assuming it did work without the mods...why would I even bother? Seriously, I got it on the computer for the modding ability! If I wanted to play the vanilla game I'd just plop it into my readily available game console. Call me crazy, but I'm a big believer that things should actually work. Things like trying to play a video game, something that is supposed to be fun, shouldn't end up feeling like a stressful chore. But with my computer, that's exactly what happens. Even before this current computer I've had many struggles with others in the past. Sure, it starts out alright, but eventually the honeymoon period is over and the computer decides it hates you.

And we all know how that story ends.
It's a struggle but we all keep fighting, either out of addiction to social media, an immense desire to watch cat videos, the hope that maybe the game will run this time, or because we have to because the computer is a part of our chosen profession. It'll break down over time, give you tons of headaches, and maybe even freeze repeatedly while you're writing an article talking about it. But we'll always keep coming back. I guess that's just something we have to make our peace with, yes? So, until Skynet finally does rain down nuclear Armageddon, I'll be here attempting to write things for your amusement before my computer finally decides to crap out entirely. Later days, bleeders.

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