Brian's Best Movies of 2017

Brace yourself, because my opinions might not be your own.
 
I would like to sit here and tell you I haven't posted anything up because I have been prepping a library of stuff. I would love if that were true. But it's not because...I have honestly been sitting here going over and over what my favourite films were from last year. Yep, I really have been debating over that for this fucking long. Holy shit, it has been amazing difficult. Like, yeah, it's been a terrible year for a lot of things but we got some truly excellent films. Half of the films on this list weren't even on it in earlier drafts. But I'm gonna suck it up and just put this out there as is. You most certainly will not agree with all of my choices but please bear in mind...this is MY list. I'm not here to spout anyone's opinions but my own. So, let's throw down the gauntlet and get this started.


What's worse, the lack of wi-fi or the missing limbs?

#10, The Bad Batch

Let's be real here, as someone who is somewhat young the future feels bleak. We hope we can change it but the terror of it being a place where none of us really want to live feels all-encompassing. Amirpour seems to have tapped into that with this post-apocalyptic thriller about a future where people get tossed into a vast wasteland when they're deemed undesirable, termed "the bad batch", and forced to survive in an arid environment with others who most likely will be hunting them down to feed on. That was a long bloody sentence. While the film didn't become a critical darling on places like Rotten Tomatoes upon release, the message of a hopeless future where people are tossed out like trash really stuck with me. Living with Trump in charge, Nazis running around feeling safe to be the best racists they can be, and seeing a deteriorating world just made the film feel haunting in a way I can't quite explain. So, it gets on the list.

Behold, the weirdest episode of Sesame Street ever.

#9, The Void

What's that? You say this came out in 2016? Well, yes and no. It was originally aired in 2016 but it wasn't given theatrical release until 2017, so there you go. Have I ever mentioned I love existentialist horror? Especially when it also has a hefty Lovecraftian edge to it? No? Well, we're learning new things all the time. I don't want to say a lot about this movie, because the mystery of it is a major part of the appeal. What I will say is that as a horror fan, this movie was a real treat. Not only did it deliver a story I got into but it also delivered some great practical effects work. I liked it so much that I bought a British Blu-Ray because I didn't want to wait for the American release. If you love horror, go check this out immediately.

Believe it or not, this isn't a post-apocalypse. This is just Florida.

#8, The Florida Project

There are some things that are hard to explain. One of those things, for me, are my feelings towards Florida. Growing up, we came here every year for vacations but that didn't mean what you might think it means. I never went to Disney World or Universal Studios, to Busch Gardens or SeaWorld. No, my vacation memories largely consist of being the only white kid running in a group of Cuban kids as we all ran around a trailer park playing. Even now, having lived in Florida for well over 10 years, I still deeply associate the state with those childhood memories. Everything seemed fascinating to me and I can't help but look at the kids in this film and feel a wave of nostalgia wash over me like a tsunami. But the reality of their lives, living out of a grungy hotel and barely scraping by, also hits me. It reminds me too of those kids I played with and how tired their parents always were when I saw them. How they struggled to get by while living in trailers that were falling apart. This film makes me list because it paints an honest portrait of what life is like for so many people here and really reminds me that childhood is often blind to the struggles of adulthood.

The new Home Alone movie took a hard right when it came to expectations, let me tell you.

#7, Better Watch Out

Ever wanted to watch Home Alone as a horror film? That'd be pretty damn interesting, honestly, but it's not exactly what this is. Talking about this film without spoiling it is incredibly difficult because the twist of it dominates the majority of the film. Let's just say that the movie takes the "nice guy" role and really hammers home how awful those guys can possibly be. It's honestly a good double feature with another film from last year I really enjoyed, The Babysitter. But I'm gonna just leave it all at that because the movie deserves to be watched and enjoyed without me spoiling what makes it so engaging.

"What is this? A getaway car for ants?"

#6, Baby Driver

Let's be real here, this movie may be one of the coolest films ever made. From concept to execution, Wright's vision of a getaway driver film is easily one of the most engrossing experiences of the past year and using music as a major storytelling cue is so well done that I wanted more when it was over. I've been a die-hard Edgar Wright fan for years and this film quickly became my favourite of his stable, which is really saying something when you look at the body of work he's cranked out for us to enjoy. Some may roll their eyes and say this was "too obvious" of a choice for this list, but I don't care. Baby Driver deserves to be celebrated endlessly.

"Honey, are you going to turn out to be a racist body-snatching psychopath?"

 #5, Get Out

If you thought Baby Driver was too obvious, then boy are you getting right pissed at me now. Look, I don't know what to tell you. Earlier last year I said that it was going to make it on the list and I do try my best to keep my word. Despite all the people who shrug the film off as a Stepford Wives rip-off, when it really isn't at all, I'm here to tell you that Get Out is a powerful film that was hyped up for a reason. From its eerie atmosphere and sense of unease in every single frame, to its cast who all play their roles pitch perfect, to the climax where we see our own expectations subverted, it is worth every single moment of your time. I know it's hip to hate on popular things but the backlash to this film was so unjustified. If you haven't seen it yet, go see it. One of my new favourite horror films. And yes, it's a horror movie.

"And then I beat him up for calling me an elf, because that shit ain't cool, y'know?"

#4, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Every now and then there comes a movie that makes me go "huh", a movie that reels me in with sheer curiosity, a movie that hovers in that weird fringe area that Fargo seemingly created by existing. I had no idea what to expect out of Three Billboards, but I knew at least that it had a great cast, so it had to be a little good, yes? That was a major understatement. Touching on a myriad of societal issues with a dry wit and an unapologetic lead, this film is one I kept ranking higher at one time or another because it keeps me coming back to rethink it all. It's hilarious and also devastating, hovering that fine line between drama and comedy that is rarely done as well. My only advisement beyond saying you should watch it is that it can trigger people, as rape and suicide are major plot points in the film. If you think you can handle it, please invest some time into seeing this movie.

Man, this DC vs. Marvel is way more intense than I expected it to be.

#3, Detroit

That was it, the one joke you're getting in regards to this film. In a year of great horror films, no film horrified me more than this one right here. This is a film based on the infamous Algiers Motel Incident during the 1967 riot in Detroit, a true story of real monsters terrorizing a group of people who simply tried to avoid being caught up in the violence outside. Three racist police officers methodically murder and impose their wills on these people, ultimately walking away feeling justified in their actions and not paying any true price for what happened. Nowhere will you see a more chilling example of the terror that black people feel when police show up that in this film. I don't even trust cops as a rule, because I've been harassed for literally no reason by them far too often, but I can't say I ever felt the abject horror these people undoubtedly felt as they were held at gunpoint during a riot by men who clearly thought they'd all be better off dead. Easily the scariest film I've seen this past year, partially because of how little things have actually changed.

Not gonna lie, I'd probably fuck him too.

#2, The Shape of Water

In a year where it felt like every single dude was being outed as a piece of shit, should it really shock anyone that women felt as drawn to this movie as they did? Fictional dudes already one-up real ones because they often don;t do crass shit that the ladies can't stand, but when all of us are getting a steady stream of examples that real men can be the worst, of course I can see why ladies want to bone the Creature from the Black Lagoon up there. Firstly, he's been sexyed up more than Bigfoot was in a certain other film from last year. Secondly, he's not forcing himself on our lead. Talking about the film itself, it's a great story about people who feel like outsiders to society coming together to help love bloom and grow. The acting job done by Sally Hawkins as our mute lead is phenomenal, expressing so much emotion in her role that other actors can struggle to compete with. Doug Jones plays perfectly alongside her as the Creature, managing to be both alien and sympathetic in his performance. And I would be remiss to not mention Michael Shannon's turn as the disturbingly intense villain of the piece. An offbeat romance for people who want something different and a great commentary on 1960s paranoia and bigotry. Go watch it multiple times.

What have you gotten yourself into this time, Charlie Brown?

#1, IT

If you know me, really know me of a deep level, you saw this coming. My absolute favourite film from the last year was a movie that a bunch of loud-mouthed idiots attacked because they can't let go of their nostalgia for a television mini-series that frankly doesn't hold up that well. I've been bitched at a lot over the past several years for my opinions regarding certain films, whether it be me calling out Passion of the Christ as a blatantly exploitative film that has little more than gore to offer, me defending a new Ghostbusters film because of the positive effect it had for young fans, or simply me being sent numerous death threats because I told Adam Wingard that I really enjoyed his Death Note film. I am no stranger to being dragged into movie-based stupidity parades. The one I wasn't expecting though was people hating on IT. this is a horror film that relies primarily on mood, acting, and practical effects to bring a truly terrifying experience...yet it got a tidal wave of hatred. I am alright if you disliked it for perfectly reasonable reasons. Maybe you dislike the change of it being set in the 1980s, perhaps you dislike them changing Mike's character, or maybe you're just not fond of how they portray Ben as being a huge New Kids on the Block fan. That's fine. But I don't find complaints about the special effects, the acting, the writing, or the atmosphere to be the least bit justified because this film knocked it out of the park with every single category. You don't agree and wanna get pissy? Tough.

"BUT MY OPINIONS ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT MATTER!!!"


So that's it, my top ten best movies of 2017. I know I left out movies you would've probably included and that a number of you likely disagree with my choices, but it is what it is. Go make your own lengthy list where you can get hatemail for not picking a specific film over another. Me, I'm gonna go fart and have dinner. Later days, bleeders.

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