|Get on with it!|
Anywho, our story picks up in the past and focuses on Bryan Cranston's character, Joe Brody, lead engineer at the Janjira nuclear plant in Japan. But, of course, that's not before they give us a nice quick reference to the original Godzilla film by showing a hydrogen bomb being used to attack a giant creature in the ocean in 1954. But yeah, we've got Joe and he's got a loving wife and son and tons of responsibilty. It's also his birthday, but he's a bit too busy to remember that at first. Meanwhile, we also have Ishiro Serizawa, a scientist who finds a massive skeleton in an collapsed mine in the Philippines. But, that's not all he finds. No, he also finds some eggs and, wouldn't you know it? One seems to have hatched and left a slimy trail straight to the ocean. What was in it? Well, I had a few theories...
|No one ever listens to my theories until it's too late.|
|Tell it to Terry Crews, you heartbreaker!|
|This isn't what it looks like! We're totally just setting up for a Dethklok show!|
|The moment I wake up I reach for my smiley face cup and get a little pour from you!|
|That thing must have a great long distance plan. Probably not Vonage.|
|Yeah, I know, lady. No one really wants to see that. Just imagine the clean-up? Eughghg.|
|Aw, it's just what I always wanted! Now get over here and fertilize my egg sack.|
Then, because the military never seem to learn anything in this movie, they attack Godzilla and draw his attention to the crowded Golden Gate bridge. You know, because fuck civilians. He basically tells them to bugger off so he can get to the business at hand and, finally, they get a clue because they do. And let me tell you, seeing Godzilla tear into the MUTOs? It's glourious. After all the build-up it's just great to see him do what he does best, which is ruining monsters who think they can mess up the Earth. Didn't they get the memo? This is Godzilla's house. You don't come into his house and start breaking things without there being consequences. While he's getting his kaiju on, Ford joins a team of HALO jumpers on a mission to disarm the warhead. It runs out that it can't be disarmed though, so they fall to their back-up plan, which is to take it out onto a boat so it can be disposed of safely at sea. Ford decides to go pyro on the nest, which prompts the momma MUTO to come after him. Luckily for him he's got a big green partner watching his back, as Godzilla finsihes off the male MUTO and turns his attention to the one of the fairer sex. She kills the team at the boat, but she gets her courtesy of an atomic french kiss straight down her toothy maw.
|This is for looking like a rip-off of the Cloverfield monster, you bitch!|
|He's also here to sell really nice toys too.|
Is he a hero? Well, I guess you could say he is, because he's doing what we should be trying to do. He comes to blows with humanity because we often try to control him or destroy him because we can't control him. When you look at it objectively, we're honestly the dicks in that scenario. It's not a preachy message like Fern Gully or Avatar, which I honestly think is better. But maybe I'm just reading too much into it and it's just cool good monster killing some bad ones. Either way, I'm alright with it. I look forward to seeing this again when it hits Blu-Ray and I hope others will do the same, as it is a great addition to the Godzilla franchise that most assuredly lives up to the roots of the character. Until next time, I'll be here destroying tiny cities with my massive feet as I pretend I too am the king of the monsters.
|It seems to say something about a large winged marsupial man having a nosebleed. Fascinating.|